Nepgya's Interdimensional Taco Stand
by Apani
Summary: After a fortuitous meeting with a cruel God, Nepgya is tasked with a very challenging job... working at a Taco Stand and serving all kinds of people from across the multiverse.
1. Prologue

On the highest floors of Planeptower - the highest, and most majestic of all landmarks the techy metropolis of Planeptune has to offer - there slept the sister of a Goddess. As she laid down on her bed, turning from side to side between her pillows, her mind was bustling with ideas on how to improve Planeptune. She could build an army of robots to cater to her citiziens' every need, she could fine-tune her nation's technology so it would vastly surpass all her rivals, she could... do this... and that... and Neptune... Neptune would be there for her. She would look at her, smile, place a hand on her shoulder, and say: "Well done, Nep Junior!".

This, however, was not her story.

**NEPGYAAAAA!  
**

Our unfortunate heroine shouted her name as she fell out of her shabby iron bed. She forced herself to get back standing, and turned off her Nepgeardam-brand alarm clock. This was the first day at her new job.

_Flashback starts_

Nepgya was chilling in her apartment, watching static on the TV, when all of a sudden, she heard a knock on her door. Our heroine got off her armchair, walked to the door, and opened it. _How surprising_, _I wasn't expecting a visit_, she thought.

"Surprise!"

Standing outside, with one arm raised to the air and the other resting on her hip, she found a lanky Divinity with a long ponytail of the color of the water - or the sky, on a nice clear day - wearing a sporty white outfit ending in a jagged mini-skirt. Of course, she was looking at Segami.

Segami's glee soon visibly vanished, getting replaced with a disillusioned stare as she saw the poor condition Nepgya's apartment versed in. "This place is a garbage hole", she stated. Nepgya's condition was indeed truly pitiful, yes... BUT, the benevolent Deity named Hatsumi Sega surely wouldn't let herself get discouraged so easily, right? No. In fact, isn't it the duty of a God to help those poor people in need? No doubt about it. And thus Segami spoke: Nepgya would be the protagonist of the next spinoff title, and everyone witness her kindness and be awed.

_Flashback ends_

Back to the present, our heroine Nepgya has gotten out of her apartment building and is now commuting on a tram, heading out of the Brooklyn-esque city she found herself living in.

"First time?"

A very peculiar-looking man in purple overalls, taĺl as a tree and thin as a noodle, spoke out to her in a raucous nasal voice whilst reading a newspaper. "Y-yessir!", Nepgya said, slightly thrown off by the sudden appearance. "Well; good luck out there freshmeat! WAAAtch your back!" said the lanky purple man. To which Nepgya replied "T-thanks!" before awkwardly looking away.

...

Clearly, she wasn't any good at chit-chat, she thought.

The tram left the city, and ventured into the countryside. A large futuristic building made of metal and glass stood alone in the seemingly endless grassland, and Nepgya knew it was time to get off at her stop.

As she made her way towards the building, she found Segami standing outside, holding down her miniscular skirt with all of her might due to the wind. Next to her, there were the familiar faces of IF and Compa.

"Heya, Gya." "Hi Gya-Gya, it's great to see you again!"

The three accompanied her inside the building. It had quite a spacious interior, with a bar to their side and some tables in the center.

"So, what do you imagine doing three years from now on, Nepgya?" IF asked, as the four sat around a table. "I...um... I..." Nepgya froze at the sudden question, her mind racing for an answer, but to no avail. "Hmmm. I see. I see. A natural-born butt-monkey." IF coldly stated as she pulled out a notebook and started writing it down. "Easily loses her composture...""

Nepgya nervously rubbed her own thighs.

"I think Iffy is just pulling your leg, Gya-Gya." Compa reassured her, with a kind smile, to which Nepgya let out a sigh of relief. Segami however did not smile, and asked why everyone didn't just hurry up and get Nepgya started with her new job instead of torturing her like that. "It was fun" replied IF, as she unfazedly played with a strand of Compa's long, peach-coloured hair.

"Very well." IF suddenly stood up, and looked at Nepgya with serious eyes. "Your job will be making tacos."

Our heroine just stood there, with a gaping mouth. Which isn't really telling much, considering it is her default expression; but I can assure you she was in fact shocked. Compa and Segami looked at her in worry, while IF just doubled down on her cold, unfeeling stare.

Nepgya curled her lips, and was struggling to push words out of her mouth. Her face turned red, and little tears started streaming down her cheeks as she bowed her head down. After a brief moment of sobbing, she looked up again, and jumped at IF with her arms reaching out.

"THAAANK YOUUUUU! I never thought I'd be deemed worthy enough to make tacos for you awesome girls. It's like a dreammm...!" She said with a shaking voice, hugging IF while letting out tears of joy.

"Um... Thanks. Sure. You're welcome." IF responded, uncertain on what to say, as she gave Nepgya a light pat on the head. "You two are so cute together! The picture of Gya-Gya hugging you would make for the perfect CG." Compa happily commented. "Wouldn't that just be a reversed rehash of that random IffyGear CG we got in Rebirth2?" Segami objected.

After managing to separate Nepgya from her person, IF pulled out her telephone and began dialing some numbers. "Very well. Your transfer will happen straight away. Good luck out there newbie, and don't die." IF declared, to which Nepgya replied by straightening her back and making a military salute. Soon after the authoritative brunette finished dialing, a greenish light eniveloped our stone-faced heroine, and she simply vanished.

"You did great, darling." Compa replied as she walked over to IF, and sat on her lap. "...Thanks." Iffy replied, with a light blush and a smile, as she leaned in closer to Compa. "Oh, geez, get a room you two, before you get carried too far with the yuri stuff." Segami interjected, showing off her clear frustration for all the world to see. "Yuri stuff? Oh, what a wonderful **idea** you have, Se-Se." Compa replied, gently hugging IF and pressing one of her breasts onto her when she said the word "Idea". "We'll be in our room, then. See you!" Compa said as both her and Iffy got up, intending to head towards the stairs.

"Wait!" The tsundereish Aqua bootleg tried to interject, one last time. "I am coming too."


	2. Chapter 1: That's a big IF

Nepgya was dutifully standing upright inside her taco stand. Actually, the author lied about the taco stand. It is a taco _van_.

And she wasn't wearing a sombrero.

_She was_, however, stranded in the middle of a rocky desert not too dissimilar from the one on the fanfiction cover. There wasn't a single soul in sight, with the exception of some weird metallic bird with steel blades for wings fluttering in the distance.

The sudden rumble of an engine then broke the silence. Nepgya braced for the upcoming customer, and took a look in their direction.

They were riding a very large motorbike with a sidecar, their eyes shielded from the dust by a visor. They were definitely a badass. So badass, in fact, that it could be no one else other than an adult version of IF.

"I-"

Nepgya stopped herself from calling out her name as the stranger-but-not-too-stranger got off her ginormous vehicle and raised her visor. After all, the two had never met in this dimension, so greeting her like an old friend would have surely weirded her out.

"Heya." Spoke the imposing, yet somehow friendly adventurer in a Southwestern accent. Nepgya politely bowed her head, and took a good look at her customer number one.

The first thing that caught the eye was her seemingly robotic left arm, going all the way up and connecting to her pectoral with a shoulderpad. Besides that, she was wearing the long blue coat distinctive of all IFs, buttoned up at the height of her chest then splitting off below her waist where it freely fluttered to the wind, revealing her black bodysuit and long black tights. This IF also looked a lot more jacked and, needless to say, tall. No luck in the chest department, though.

"I'll have the spiciest item on your list." She said. "And a bottle of water, too."

Nepgya dutifully assembled the taco and presented it to her on a plastic platter, then reached for a plastic bottle from the mini-fridge. The young woman looked at the girl running the stand, then at her meal, then back at the girl running the stand. Was that the face of the girl, drawn over the taco using chili sauce?

_This girl... not only she looks weird, she IS weird, no two ways about it. _She thought.

"Oh," Nepgya picked up immediately "I am sorry if the face I drew is making you iffy - no pun intended - you are my very first customer so I thought I would make something nice for the occasion." She tried to explain cheerfuly.

The customer didn't reply, instead sitting at the counter and picking up the taco. She wasn't gonna let a good meal go to waste, and, frankly, she was far more interested in putting something in her stomach and relaxing rather than solving whatever mystery the world was throwing at her with the sudden appearance of a supernatural taco girl in the middle of her desert.

_What really irks me is the plastic cutlery anyway. Too bad I just used up all my explosives, sending this taco van and all its fake plastic knives packing would have been a great show... But I can't complain_ ****MUNCH****, she thought as she took a bite out of her spicy taco, careful not to let the sauce drip off onto her badass hero clothing. She then asked: "So, can you turn on the TV?"

It was quickly done, and immediately a catchy gingle was introducing the news program:

"Authorities have made a stunning announcement on the building that exploded in Virtua Canyon. It was Team ASIC's hideout. Team ASIC is a gang of CPU abductors who have been marked for arrest." Spoke the announcer.

"Heh." The imposing adventurer made a pleased grin, then turned to the taco girl at the counter. "Soo... You never explained me how you knew my name." She asked out of the blue. Nepgya stopped cold.

"I... W-When... D-did I?" Nepgya frantically spoke, attempting to cover her previous slip-up as she physically covered her head with her hands.

"Only a handful of people in the world go calling me Iffy. And most of them are no more." The big IF said, as a tense music kicked in. "Know that depending on your answer, I might just have to kill you." She added, slowly reaching for Gya's head with her robotic left hand.

_Don't worry, Iffy just loves pulling people's legs._ Compa's words flashed back into Nepgya's mind as-

****GRAB**** The travelling badass placed her hand on Nepgya's head, firmly grasped it, and pulled it close to herself... locking the two in an unpleasant staring contest.

The girl had cold, unforgiving eyes, completely devoid of humanity. She was, no doubt, a demon. And IF was pretty scary as well.

_What was it, in her...?_ The lonely adventurer thought. What_ soul lie behind that empty gaze...?_

"WAAAAAHT ARE YOU DOING RIGHT THERE, BULLYING MY FELLOW TACO VENDOR LIKE THAT!" A lanky purple figure suddenly cut all the tension, as he shouted at the "IF" in his coarse high-pitched nasal voice, a tennis racket in his hand and two angry racoons at his back.

* * *

"Umm, are you girls for real." Segami interjected, as she watched the live feed of Nepgya's adventure from her tablet, which cozily rested with an upright tilt on the dresser of Compa's room, Segami sitting on a chair nearby.

"I mean," she continued "isn't there some legal, or at least _moral _rule about NOT ripping off other games' stories? The metal bird, the big-ass motorbike, the hidden base blowing up... This is just the plot of Nepumon Colosseum intermixed with _WaLoweege's Taco Stand_, for crying out loud."

"You are worrying too much, Segami", a coat-less IF absent-mindedly replied as she hugged Compa with her left arm while laying next to her on the bed.

"Blanc is gonna be sooo pissed at you girls for copying her old games." Segami stated while making her classic _Are you serious?_ face.

"Those games are ancient history." IF argued "Provided there are still people out there who remember them, we can just capitalize on nostalgia and say it was a reference made out of love. Fans will love that."

"Either that," Segami countered "or they will just call you out for being lazy bastards as usual. You know... for someone who boasts the name of _Idea _Factory, you sure can't seem to let go of old material."

"And you worry too much." IF said, trying to come up with a good counter-burn. "And... you know what? For a purported "God", you sure like to worry a lot, and yet the only God-like thing about you is the way you massively screw up. I heard Forces wasn't greeted that warmly by Modern Sonic fans, was it?"

"S-shut up!" Segami replied, grabbing the nearest object she could find - a pocket mirror - and chucking it at IF. "I need to worry. Or else this world will die. You girls don't know how easy you got it..."

"How dramatic." IF commented.

"Look, at least _I am trying_ to come up with new actual titles so my flagship franchise won't die." Segami took a look at the happy couple of makers, merrily hugging each other. "All you girls do is _fuck_..."

"Well, we are making a game now, so shush." IF answered.

"Technically, _I __am..._" Segami said, very annoyedly. "_Just what is _the point of this game anyway..." She asked, and rightfully so. She was the one publishing, after all, and doing most of the heavy work producing it as well, so a little heads-up regarding the game's direction was only fair...

But before IF could disclose any more plot-relevant infornation, Compa chimed in: "If you keep sulking with your eyebrows like that, you'll get wrinkles, my dear Se-Se." She commented with her trademark happy smile and gleeful tone of voice. "And then you'll be even crankier and even more left alone."

"I-I'm not-"

_Not what? Sulky? Wrinkly? Cranky? Left alone? _She couldn't push her mind to pick an adjective.

Segami pouted her lip, and stared at the happy couple, dead-silent. _Wrinkles? On her face?_ The thought was indeed rather scary, and the last decade hadn't been particularly kind to her in terms of stress... Compa clearly wasn't pulling any punches.

* * *

Back to our adventure, the angry and lanky Italian (?) man angrily stood with his back hunched over, making squats with his legs spread out.

"Who dares challenge me?" The lone traveller asked out loud.

"It is I, the great Waloweege! I shall defeat you, and rescue the graceful Nepgya!" He said, as a rose magically popped into his mouth and he bent down on his knee with his arms spread out.

_God, another weirdo. I am missing the guys back at ASIC already. They were as dumb as rocks, but at least they weren't this ridiculous._ The confident young woman thought, even if in truth she was happy to see people acting so outlandishly, so boldly.

_No need to hold myself back, then._

"Very well." She began thinking about a cool presentation. _Yes, this will work._

"I am Oreindustri's Rusty Blade, its Cloud of Dust... AND I SHALL TAKE ON YOUR CHALLENGE!"

The eager adventurer went running at the purple stranger, her Qatar in hand, her feet relentlessly beating on the desert soil as she covered the distance between the two of them without care for gauging her opponent's strength.

"Here comes the first serve!" The sneaky purple man announced as he pulled a tennis ball from his back, threw it up in the air and hit it with his tennis racket, sending it flying at full speed against our wild (anti-?)heroine.

She moved away from the incoming projectile, then got back on her original trajectory and closed the distance with the purple man.

****SWOOSH****

Her blade swung against the purple man, who readily parried with his tennis racket. Waloweege sent a kick straight to her chest, but IF parried his foot with her second blade.

"Wahahaha!" Waloweege spoke. "Tanuki 1 and 2, attack!"

Two racoon-like creatures, with fuzzy hair in brown and white stripes, jumped at IF, aiming for her hand and her leg.

"FUCK!" She shouted, as she removed her blade from the man's sole to fend off the incoming animals

****KICK** **Waloweege took the opening and kicked her blade away. "I have been at this job far too long, waaah! I won't lose to somebody's edgy OC, this time."

"Edgy?" IF repeated, her eyes widening.

_Haha, of course... she WAS very edgy, no two ways about it._

"I'll give you the taste of an edge!" She clenched her human fist, pulled her arm back, and then pushed it forward with an open palm. "Deeeemon flames!" A stream of fire came out of her hand. Albeit it was a very weak fire attack by the world's standards, it was enough to scare off the animals as they immediately turned their backs and scurried away.

Waloweege looked at them in disbelief.

"Well, that was anticlimactic." The tall brunette commented, as Waloweege laid down his racket. "I guess you're one of those trainers who doesn't care well for his Nepumons, huh? Judging by how easily they ran away..." Waloweege looked down, dejected. "Either that, or they were wild 'mons you just caught."

"Well, this is really sad." Nepgya finally commented, having walked over to the scene. "Yeah," Big IF seconded "I even feel bad for wanting to beat you up right now."

Waloweege let out a sad waah. He didn't get hurt physically, but he surely got hurt in the spirit.

"Oh, it's the thought that counts." Nepgya spoke again, approaching the defeated stranger who was now laying on his knees. "May I offer you a taco? My treat."

And so they all sat together at a picnic table in front of the taco van. Waloweege had a taco filled with nutella and smarties, Nepgya had a vegan taco with guacamole, and the adult version of IF was enjoying her ground meat taco, her second taco of the day. A black fox and pink cat climbed out of IF's sidecar and walked over the her. _I could have used them for the battle,_ she thought, _but I wanted to go easy on him.  
_

"Uni, Gear." The adult version of IF addressed the two animals, then laid down a bowl and poured some of the water bottle into it. She then looked up at her human lunch partners. "My name is IFI, and these girls are my family." "Oh, Hi Fi..." Nepgya said. "I WILL KILL YOU!" The brunette snapped back at her.

And so, IFI began narrating her story. She had been part of a band of criminals - Team ASIC - for as long as she could remember. And then one day she decided to blow it all up - quite literally, as she did so with their base - and stole their most treasured weapon.

* * *

"What? The protagonist of this game used to be in cahoots with the bad guys?" Segami interjected.

"Yup. Used to be a straight up bad guy. And not a reluctant one, either." Our world's IF asserted, having gotten out of the bed, as she was now watching the feed of the show with Segami. "Guess you're not the only one who can pull of cool ambiguous anti-heroes."

"My characters are not ambiguous." Segami made her cynical face, but then stopped herself upon remembering Compa's remark.

"Yes," Compa added "I also remember being really confused by this revelation as a child. The good guy was the bad guy, but only in the past? My child mind had some real trouble processing that."

"I think it's a cool lesson, even if it may sound cheesy." IF spoke. "Bad guys too can decide to be good for a change."

"Even then, I'd much rather not share a room with Iris Heart." Segami snarked. "...Pretty cool idea, though. Talking about bad guys... This Waloweege: what's the deal with him?"

Nepgya and IFI turned to Waloweege, curious to hear his story now.

"My guess is that he's a Loweean spy." Segami fantasized.

* * *

The lanky man in purple overalls let out a nervous "waah", as he had never been in such a situation before, with two cute anime girls giving him full attention and visibly curious to learn more about him. _Don't mess up. This is your only chance to make a good impression. On anyone. Ever._

"I... waah, of course I am an honest citizien making a living. I sell tacos- Waitwaitwait, not any normal tacos. Wahaha! I sell tacos for royals, for gods, and even for princesses. You ever heard of Sarasaland? The princess of that Kingdom is my enterprise's biggest and most loyal endorser. That's right, pretty neat, waahahahah?" Waloweege spoke.

"Get off the table, you dirty mobster." IFI spoke, as Waloweege in his excitement had walked over the picnic table without even realizing, his shoes now looming mere meters away from everybody's plates.

"Sorry, waah." He said, as he dejectedly jumped off. But he wouldn't give up just yet. He couldn't.

"You see, Nepgya," he continued "in my whole life, I have been serving many kinds of tacos. Some were spicy, some were sour, some were sweet. But nobody, in all 574 chapters of my long-running adventure, has ever said to me: "I'll serve you a taco." Or at least, nobody ever said it with as much love and grace as you did. This taco makes me feel emotions I've never felt before. Thank you, Nepgya. Because my tacos might fill stomachs, but your tacos... they fill hearts. Waah."

"Awwwww..." The sneaky gentleman's words deeply touched Nepgya's heart, and she was now smiling with her face all red. "You are being really kind to me, even though I don't deserve it."

"Waah?" The purple man in overalls let out a waah of worry.

"I gotta give out my thanks as well." IFI chimed in. "Your service was really good, and the random battle was fun. I guess you guys really taught me I shouldn't be afraid of being myself. So, hey, I will put in a good word for your business back in town."

"Thank you, both of you!" Nepgya said, with renewed confidence "I will make treasure of your words, and I'll strive to improve myself. I will keep working hard day and night here at this taco stand, and I will serve many moments of laugh and happiness to each and every one of my customers! Thank you, IFI! Thank you, kind stranger!"

"S-stranger?" Waloweege stuttered, as rejection hit him like a truck.

* * *

o-o-o-NEPSTATION-o-o-o

Today's hosts: IF and Ultra Blanc

IF: Heya folks, how have you been doing?

Blanc: Hello everyone, I hope you have been having a good day.

IF: So, how are you liking this fic so far? Was my alternate self cool?

Blanc: As a watcher and also a fanfic writer myself, I'd like to give my input. First of all, your fic is quite good. However, it needs to feature more characters from Lowee. I also would have liked to see you focus more on adult IF's inner emotional journey. When she said at the end "You guys taught me I shouldn't be afraid of myself", that comment almost seemed to come out of the left field. Was that an attempt at satire, perhaps? Also, I'd like to file in a complaint about Segami's final remark; Lowee would never stoop so low as to send a picturesque Italian man who looks like a shoddy CG rendition of Robbie Rotten to serve as a spy for the nation. We people of Lowee are cold, yes, but we have standards.

IF: That... was an odd thing to get so nitpicky about. So, we're now opening the fanmails. We got a comment from HDeDeDe, writing from the n/gamindustri subneppit.

HDeDeDe: Are the events of Waluigi's taco stand 64 cannon to this universe?

Blanc: Hello, HDeDeDe. First of all, I'd like to compliment you on your name. It is a really clever pun, and you have great taste in characters as well. (How I hate that fucking penguin...)

IF: Did you say something?

Blanc: Second: I'd like to dispel the rumors about Waluigi's Taco Stand 64 being an actual game that was released. Some of you might have watched a self-proclaimed "Lost commercial" presenting the game somewhere on the internet. Well, that video was originally spread by a person named Kaze Emanuar, a German romhacker best known in the Lowee 64 underground community for his state-of-the-art romhack "Last Impact". So, rest assured and sleep tight, dear fans all over the world, _there is no game._

IF: Yeah, our intel points to it being an urban legend as well.

Blanc: However, even if the game _did_ exist at some point in time, I can guarentee you, and I am giving you my word as the CPU of Lowee, on this fact: Waluigi's Taco Stand 64 has never, ever been a cannon at any point in time, in any universe, ever.

IF: (Sooo... is Blanc even gonna acknowledge we copied two of her games? ... No? ... Okay then.)


	3. Chapter 2: OFF to a great start

"There cannot be any other living beings in Heart Dimension." Spoke Kurome, looking at the stone-faced girl behind a taco stand who had suddenly appeared in her realm. "So I must assume that you are a mere fragment of my imagination."

"Oh... that's not a bad guess actually." Nepgya said, raising one of her hands in greeting. "I hope we can at least be imaginary friends!"

"I have no friends." The teenage girl with dark blue hair said, taking a seat at one of the stand's plastic tables. "Only regrets."

* * *

It was a chilly, windy day at the Planeptune Productivity Centre. Segami was standing outside, looking at the boundless sea of grass surrounding the area, and at the mountains in the distance. For some reason, she loved this kind of weather. It reminded her of her days of glory, of adventure...

**Flashback starts**

Planeptune city was in ruins. Its roads were cracked, and its skyscrapers now sunk into the ground, covered with vines and overgrown vegetation. A giant, serpentine creature with many tendrils occupied the center of the city, letting out a terrifying roar.

One brave heroine stood alone, off to fight her last hopeless battle.

"Hey, Uzume!" Segami called out to her, running after her with Histoire.

"Segami?" Uzume responded, relieved to see a familiar face among the destruction.

"Here, take this!" Segami said, holding a discoloured share crystal.

"Hey guys," Uzume said, noticing Umio and Dreamcast who had arrived from the other side. "What's up?"

"Time Eater only used the negative power of the share crystals." Umio explained. "Uzume, you should be able to harness their REAL power."

"As much as I hate to admit it," Spoke Dreamcast, Uzume's fiercest rival in the past "I think Umio is right about this."

"GO, UZUME!" The voice of a man reached her from inside a building. "Uzume, we believe in you!" Another man said. Soon, the voices of the survivors were forming a huge uproar, all chanting for the young redheaded CPU.

It was at that point that Uzume transformed.

"Negative forces aren't the only way to empower the share crystals." Histoire asserted. "Our positive feelings towards each other can make them work. Our hearts together form awesome power."

(Nobody could hear Histy's explanation.)

CPU Orange Heart rose up into the sky, and pointed her megaphone at the monster known as Time Eater. "I'm sorry, Timmy, but things have come to this. HYAAAAAA!" She shouted into her weapon at full lungs, hitting the monster with a stream of soundwaves.

_"Timmy...?" _Everyone commented in disbelief.

But there was no time for questioning. Immediately Dreamcast started running towards the monster, dodging one of its tendrils as it slammed onto the ground. Segami promptly smashed it with her hammer, and Time Eater let out a roar of pain.

"Uzume" Segami called out. "Now's your chance!"

...

"Uzume?"

There was no response. Segami looked around herself, searching for wherever Orange Heart went.

"Yummyyyyyy!" Orange Heart exclaimed "These tacos you made are really delicious, Gyasy."

Segami looked up.

Orange Heart had suddenly taken a break in the middle of the battle, and was now happily munching on a taco on one of the city's rooftops, where a familiar girl had magically set up shop. One of Time Eater's tendrils made its way to the taco stand, carefully picked up a taco, and threw it into his gaping mouth.

"Good appetite, and thanks for your patronage!" Nepgya waved her hand at the monster.

"Get out of my flashbacks!" Segami shouted, tossing her hammer towards Nepgya's Interdimensional Taco Stand with all her might.

**Flashback ends**

_Ah, yes, those were the days._

"Well, it was a real hassle rebuilding the capital after that." Segami reminisced. "But I'd say it was worth it. Wait - does that make me a terrible person?" She thought out loud, remembering all the souls that perished in the accident.

"Hey Se-Se, what are you doing?" Compa appeared from behind her.

"Oh..." Segami muttered.

"You'll get a cold if you stay out there." The caring nurse said.

Segami smiled at that. Considering how many times throughout her innaturally long life she had been frozen or tossed into cold waters without catching as much as a single sneeze, coming up to her and saying "Dress up for the cold" was nothing if not an obvious joke.

But she appreciated the humor.

"Thanks for your concern." Segami finally replied. "...Mortal." She snarked, looking at the cozy wool sweater her human friend was wearing.

"Say," Segami spoke up "do you think I am a horrible person?"

"Oh, Se-Se..." Compa reacted "My poor, silly Se-Se..." She commented in a patronizing tone, instead of giving a clear reply.

"Smartass." Segami caller her out, making her cynical face. Wrinkles be damned!

Compa looked at her with her deep orange eyes, and her friendly smile.

"I think what my grandfather always said should come in handy in this situation." The nurse began.

_Oh shit, here we go again. _Segami thought, bracing herself for yet another nonsensical anecdote.

* * *

"Surprise me." The gloomy blue-haired girl said, looking away into the distance.

The world she found herself living in was that of an empty nothingness, the small floating island she was standing on being the lone exception.

Nepgya didn't speak, instead she crouched down to look under the stand, checking the ingredients that were stored. Slowly, she picked up an empty wrap and put it on a platter. _This won't do__. _She thought.

"So, entertain me." Kurome spoke up, addressing the figment of her imagination. "Why are you here? I am curious to hear whatever story my subconscious will come up with to explain your presence."

"I..." Nepgya began to think, slightly caught off-guard by the sudden question. "I have a very important mission!" She then spoke, with renewed confidence. "I was given the task of running this taco stand by my friends."

Those simple words for some reason resonated with the fallen heroine of the past.

_Friends? What friends?_

"Well, Segami, first of all. Also IF and Compa."

_Segami? _Kurome's eyes widened. _Tell me more._

"It went like that: Segami knocked on my door, said she was checking on my home. Then she took pity on me and said she would make me the protagonist of her new game. And here I am!"

**"No!" **Kurome shouted, her hand reaching out, as a dark impulse ran through her body. This was a terrible idea.

**Segami is a horrible person.**

Bad memories started drowning out every inch of her mind, shutting down every rational thought. Her past was catching up to her.

**She is doing that to more innocent souls. **

**"Don't do it! Please don't!"** Kurome begged, her face pale.

Nepgya looked at her, shocked by the sudden reaction. Well, not that it mattered. Her face was always shocked.

"I am sorry!" The panicked Nepgya began to speak. She had hurt her. She didn't know why, but she knew she had hurt her. She had to fix this. "I will fix this. Just tell me how. I know! I will make you a taco! Just tell me your favourite, and it'll be done in a heartbeat." Nepgya lied. There were barely any ingredients in her stand, certainly not enough to cook up anything decent, but she had to say something to pull her out of this condition.

Kurome laid her head on the table, and slammed her fist on it.

****THUNK!****

**I feel sad. I feel so wrong.**

_..._

_..._

_..._

_I woke up, and I found myself in a black hallway._

_My legs started walking on their own. I had to do something._

* * *

"I am not a god... I cannot be perfect... Yes, I have sinned, I admit it. But my responsibilities are far beyond those of a mere mortal." The loving nurse spoke.

* * *

_27 November 1998_

_Today is my first day as CPU._

**I was brimming with hope.**

* * *

"That's... That's actually pretty deep." Segami asserted, standing outside the building, hearing Compa's dramatic speaking. "Was your grandpa a poet or something?"

* * *

_Segami is the best girl I know. She's strong, and fights for everyone. She's super-cool!_

_Segami believed in me. I won't let her down._

**Trust exists to be shattered.  
**

* * *

"He was a bird-watcher." Compa declared, very sketchily.

* * *

_Histoire and I got matching hats now. We are real besties!  
_

_Those girls are too nice for someone like me. I'll get spoiled at this rate!_

**No friendship is built to last.**

* * *

Segami gave her a mean look. "Seriously, though." Segami resumed "You have a talent for dark, dramatic stuff... and not in a bad way either. So many people were left traumatized by Conquest ending, it's not even funny. You should do more stuff like that."

* * *

_I want to make Planeptune the best place in the world._

_I will serve smiles to everyone!_

**I desperately run after myself.****  
**

**Please, don't go, "me". Why is this happening again? I want to take it all back.**

* * *

Compa smiled, just standing there. "My dear Se-Se... I am a nurse. I would be doing a very bad job if my games hurt the patients instead of healing them."

* * *

_This is only the beginning, it can only get better from now on._

**I need to stop this cycle of suffering.**

_Let's carve our way into the future!_

_**Anything but this.**_

_**Please... stop.**_

* * *

Segami felt the air become chillier. Compa looked at her with her deep, orange eyes: "_Don't you think so, Segami?"_

* * *

**You sick fucks.**

* * *

"Well, this is pretty strange." IF commented, looking absent-mindedly at the tablet monitoring Nepgya's adventure as she sat at one of the tables in the cafeteria, sipping on a cup of American black coffe. "Hey girls, check this out." She said, noticing Segami and Compa coming in from the entrance door.

"What happened, Iffy?" Compa asked first.

"The location changed mid-episode." IF spoke "They were in some empty, gloomy world with floating islands at first, but now it changed to a high school setting. With quite a few familiar faces, as well."

* * *

"Today sure was something!" A tall girl with blue hair and a red scarf streched her arms out dramatically, as she walked towards the school's exit with her friend. "You did great, Uzume!" She said, giving her friend a pat on the shoulder.

"I really didn't do anything..." The other girl said.

"You killed it today, sis!" The energetic ally of Justice continued, unfazed by her friend's lack of enthusiasm. "That's the kind of team spirit we need!"

A couple of two other girls appeared in the distance.

"...And then I said: _Nepgyaaa! A man like you, with a face and two legs, could very well become the next secretary for our play, if you just join the Gamacademi Drama Club! _And so he made a happy self-insert smile, said '_okay'_, and accepted to become one of our group now and forever." Cheerily spoke a familiar girl with purple eyes and long purple hair.

"I'm not sure I fully understood it." Commented the second familiar girl accompanying her, who had light blue hair in a long ponytail and a lively yellow hair bow popping out from behind her head. "But I'm glad you could draw someone into our club, at least. You know what they said to me?"

"What? What?" The purple-haired girl asked, curious to hear about her friend's misfortunes.

"You guys are jokes. Stop living in a fantasy world. You're almost 18 now. Grow up."

* * *

"Damn, that's harsh, Segami." IF commented, looking at her light blue-haired friend in the real world, who had a clearly unamused expression. "I guess no matter the dimension, Sega's destinity is to always be ridiculed."

"Careful now, Idea Factory..." Segami looked at her brunette friend "I still have your drawings from when you were a child."

"EEP!" IF shouted as she shrank back.

"So we have Ge-Ge, Se-Se..." Compa said, pointing at the figures in the monitor. "That one with the red scarf... it has to be Nisa. And she's with some other blue-haired girl with pigtails I don't recognize."

"Hmm," Segami took a look. "I think I recognize her. Probably someone from the company's past. But I can't exactly pinpoint what she did and who she was."

_... ..._

"Oh look, someone's coming." Segami suddenly noticed. Everybody leaned in to the monitor...

"Oh no..." Said Segami and IF.

* * *

"Oh no..." Said Kurome and Segami.

"Hello, my beautiful ladies. How was the day?" A short girl with bright red hair addressed the group, getting everyone's eyes onto her.

"I guess it's my time to run off" Nepgear spoke to Segami, leaning in against her ear "And good luck finding happiness."

Segami snapped back defensively "I don't want...! Happiness..."

Nepgear smiled, giggled and replied "I know", then skipped away.

"So, how was the day?" The merry redhead asked again.

"Pretty great!" Nisa replied, her fist raised to the air. "We got four new recruits for our track team! All thanks to Uzume's work."

"Really, please... I didn't do anything..." Spoke the girl with pigtails, looking away in embarrassment.

"Four recruits?" Segami commented. "I'm kind of envious."

"Ah, that is good, citizien." Nisa asserted, eager to dish out some inspiration "Take that feeling of envy, and let it push you to greater heights!" She said doing a Superman pose.

"Sooo, I decided to start my own club." RED spoke, taking everyone by surprise. The eyes of the group fixated on her once again. "I am gonna call it the 'Happy Club', and it's gonna be composed of beautiful girls attending to my every desire."

"So, a slavery club?" Kurome murmured to Segami.

"Well, at least she doesn't lack bravery." Segami responded.

"A club? Good luck, RED!" Nisa said.

"We are gonna have so much fun together." RED continued her explanation. "It will be composed solely of girls, and we will solely do cute things together. We will care for each other, compliment each other, love each other..."

Kurome cringed.

"We will be enveloped in a blanket of love, and once our blanket is large enough, we will use it to cover the whole planet!" RED exclaimed and made a little jump.

"...But she does lack brains." Segami added.

"What are you girls conspiring in secret?" Nisa suddenly spoke, addressing the whispering duo of Kurome and Segami.

"Aaahh... Nothing!" Reacted Segami. "We were just, um, talking about how we haven't gone to GTS in a while."

"Gya's Taco Shop? Nice thinking, Sega!" Nisa bounced back. "Let us head now, before the place is full!"

Kurome and Segami breathed a sigh of relief, and the group soon headed to their coveted taco shop.

"Welcome! What can I serve you?" The funny-faced heroine greeted the four students in a cheery tone.

"We'll wait at a table, you can give us the menus." RED said.

The four walked over to a table by the window, and sat down on the booths. RED slumped her back and placed her arms on the booth, looking over to the proud Nisa who was sitting next to her with her back straight, eyes facing forward.

"Why are you looking at me?" Kurome asked, annoyed.

"Proper posture dictates I must be facing the person in front of me at all times!" Nisa declared.

"Does proper posture also dictate that you place your hands on your sides all the time?" Kurome asked, pointing out the pose Nisa had been doing just now.

Nisa didn't reply, instead she looked at Kurome and fought to hold back a laugh.

Nepgya came over and handed them the menus. Nisa made sure to give thanks while RED winked at her. Kurome picked up a menu and hid her face with it.

"How you doing?" RED asked Segami, who had been quietly looking outside the window, not speaking once since they got inside the taco shop. Nisa was also looking at her.

"Oh?" Segami replied "I was... just thinking."

"How was class?" RED asked Segami, again.

"It was fine. Still don't have any friends, though." Segami said.

"Huh..." Kurome interjected from behind the menu.

"Why is that? Are they bullying you?" Nisa promptly asked, her fist raised.

A phone rang from behind the counter.

"Excuse me my dear customers, I will be back very soon!" Nepgya said, bowed, and ran off to pick up the phone.

_*Click*_

"This is bad." IF's voice - from our world - called out to Nepgya through the phone "The story is getting sidetracked. Nobody wants to listen to ten minutes of high school drama. Be more assertive. Remember: this is a fic about you selling tacos."

"Roger." Nepgya replied, and put down the phone.

"Uzume, I challenge you!" Nisa shouted back at the table, pointing her finger at the blue-haired heroine.

"Pass." Kurome said, not taking her eyes off the menu. _It's probably something dumb._

"Uzume," Nisa repeated, unshaken "I challenge you to an eating contest! Who can eat the most hot tacos?"

"No." Kurome replied.

"Ohhh. Why not?" RED interjected.

"I mean, why would I want to burn my insides and leave my intestines scarred for life?" Kurome said.

"Exactly." RED said.

"That... that would actually be pretty cool." Segami suddenly spoke.

"Cool, huh...?" Kurome asked, looking at her friend Segami.

"Extremely cool." Nisa assured her.

"Super-de-duper cool!" RED added.

_And it would cheer Segami up._

"Alright, let's do this!" The teenage high schooler with dark blue hair pressed her hands on the table, and moved her gaze to Nepgya, who was coming back just now.

"Hello, can I get your order?" Nepgya asked.

"Get us two spicy tacos! Extra large!" Kurome exclaimed.

"Onto it!" Nepgya replied, made a military salute, and turned heels.

"Wait! You haven't got my and Segami's order!" RED called out, but it was too late. "Oof... I really wanted a crepe with nutella and smarties." She said sadly, looking at Segami.

"Bad kids get no nutella." Segami said, with a smirk.

"Aww..." RED said, looking down.

"Here are your tacos." Soon enough, Nepgya came back, holding the plates in her hands, and placing them in front of Kurome and Nisa. The two contenders gave a look at their meals, then at each other.

"I'll be the referee." Segami spoke, standing up. "On my three, you start digging on your tacos." She raised her hand. "One. Two. GO!"

The contenders looked at her, unsure on whether or not to start.

* * *

"Wow, Sega." Iffy spoke "You're _amazing_. I have never seen someone fuck up something as simple as counting to three. Sega?"

Segami didn't speak, and just sadly looked at the screen. The two contenders finally resolved to start eating, and Kurome seemed to be having trouble handling the spicy flavour in her mouth, while Nisa stoically munched on.

* * *

"Go, Nisa! You can do this, my wifey!" RED shouted.

"Uzume! You can't lose this! So go and make me proud!" Segami incited her.

Kurome tried her hardest to chew through that mouthful, and ignore the burning sensation on her tongue and mouth that was now filling up her nasal cavity. Meanwhile, Nisa finally swallowed, looked at Kurome, smirked, and took a gulp of a water from a plastic bottle. Kurome slowed down, losing hope at the clear disadvantage, but then she remembered Segami's encouragement and decided she would see this race to the end.

...

"I win!" The scarfed heroine proudly declared, as RED cheered and tried to hug her. "I... I need some water." Nisa said, she stood up, moved RED aside, and slowly walked to the counter. RED went after her, and helped her move. _Good thing RED is so short, _Nisa thought as she rested an arm on her head.

"So... You didn't win." Segami commented, in a neutral tone.

"Heh, I guess not..." Kurome began to speak, her back slumped against the booth with a bloated belly, as she turned her head to RED and Nisa "Hey, girls? Can you get me some of that water, too?" To which RED made an ok sign.

"It's okay, you did your best." The goddess in light blue hair spoke, and made a small smile.

"I... see. Thank you." Kurome said, and laid her head and arms on the table. "Now I can rest in peace."

And with these last words, the delusion began to vanish.

* * *

"Hey, why is everything disappearing into thin air?" IF asked, looking at the screen. "I don't get it. Was this supposed to be some kind of dream sequence?" She continued. "Segami." IF turned around. "Segami, why are you crying?"

* * *

o-o-o-NEPSTATION-o-o-o

Today's hosts: Neptune and Copypaste

Neptune: Helloooo, ladies and neppermen! Welcome to another episode, of NEEEPstation. Hope you guys are enjoying this fic, even if I, NEP, am not in it.

Copypaste: Why, hello there my good followers and friends through the interwebs! May I share a cup of delicious hot tea with you guys?

Neptune: Whoa, that is one big cup of tea. I could have a shower, or maybe even a full bath with it.

Copypaste: You must refrain, little Neppy. Our network forbids little ones like you from taking a bath on-screen, how very unfortunate.

Neptune: It's okay, Mr. Pasta... I still have the other me for, you know... gathering shares...

Copypaste: So, it is time for us to read our fanmails. Let's see... We got one from Lunagray, one from KL1862, and from a certain... Lady Pasta Heart.

Neptune: Ohhh boy, this is gonna be good.

Copypaste: Well, Lady Pasta, let's see what you have written for us: "It's not a taco stand? She's not wearing a sombrero? 0/10, worst fanfic ever. Wait, but Segami's pointing out IF/CH's laziness? New spirit animal, 10/10, best fic ever. But wait, Blanc doesn't like Dedede? 0/10, worst fic again. Hmm, on the other hand, Blanc also thinks Copypaste should be in the fi-"

**WEEEWOOO WEEEWOOO**

Neptune: NEP! A sudden alarm with red lights. What is that?

Copypaste: A notification has appeared on the screen. Look!

**Yoshizilla-Rhedosaurus is now following Nepgya's Interdimensional Taco Stand**

Neptune: ...

Copypaste: ...

Neptune: ...God has entered the chat. I mean... Oh. My. God. Who would've thought our fic would attract the attention of _the man_ himself!

Copypaste: All thanks to the power of creativity and hard-work! Welcome, new friend!

Neptune: This sorta begs the question: what does Yoshizilla, the creator of the original Taco Stand, think about our fic? Is he having trouble following a story that features characters from a franchise that's completely new and unknown to him, or is he having a good time reading it nonetheless?

Copypaste: Worry not, little Neppy, the original Taco Stand is a delightful story featuring many faces. Many, many faces! So I am certain Yoshizilla will be happy to meet and discover even more friends! I'll tell you more: this sense of mystery, of possibility that you have upon approaching something new and unknown, it is one of life's greatest delights!

Neptune: Thank you Mr. Pasta... You know, I was under the impression that you were a disagreeable cranky old robot for a while.

Copypaste: Hahaha! And why would that be?

Neptune: Y'see, we have this sort of running gag on Neppit... Whenever someone made a post on n/gamindustri, this guy with a Copypaste flair would show up and make a comment like "Your fanart is cool and good, yes, but have you heard about OUR LORD AND SAVIOUR COPYPASTE? Your waifu is nothing in comparison to him." You know the title of the latest discussion thread he opened? "CPUs have no reason to exist". Unthinkable! _I_ am a CPU, after all.

Copypaste: Hahaha! Such bravery, such spirit! This is exactly what I would expect from one of my fans. Thank you, little Neppy.

Neptune: Thank you as well. Oh, come here you giant cranky piece of machinery, gimme a hug!

Copypaste: Hah, sure! I hope you can take it.

Neptune: o_o Maybe this wasn't a good idea...


End file.
